My gym has the word RELAX written in ginormous capital letters across the wall of its relaxation room. I have always found this a little counterintuitive. Whenever I look at that sign, it makes me laugh – and definitely not relax.
“How can I relax,” I think, “when you are yelling at me?”
RELAX!
Ok ok….. it might not have an exclamation point. But it is in caps. With a full stop. That is so large, that it feels like an exclamation point. Either way, it definitely doesn’t encourage relaxing. But it’s a bang on example of words and intent working against each other. The message says one thing, but the way it is delivered creates a completely different experience.
I see the same thing happen in business presentations.
A heartfelt apology, read from a script with no eye contact. Feeling the sincerity yet?
An impressive team achievement, rushed through at 1,000 words per minute. Sorry, we achieved what?
A major and emerging business risk, given exactly the same weight as another five, far less pressing issues. Did the audience understand its importance? Probably not.
The words may be accurate, but the meaning becomes weakened and muddled because the delivery does not support the message.
In presentation circles, there is plenty of geeky debate about what matters more: what we say or how we say it. But in the real world, it’s just not that clear-cut. Both matter. A lot.
You can have exceptional delivery skills, but if your content is unclear, you are not going to be effective. Equally, you can have something genuinely valuable to say, but if you deliver it without clear intent, your audience may not fully hear or understand it.
So, when you are preparing to speak, as well as asking: “What do I want my audience to know or do?” Also ask: “What do I want my audience to feel?”. Then think about what barriers are getting in the way of you communicating that feeling.
If you are telling your team you are proud of them, let them feel that pride. Look at them (not your notes). Smile. Give the message enough time. Let them see that you mean it.
If you are telling a client there is a serious problem with a project, give that message enough weight and space that it cannot be dismissed.
And if you want people to relax, perhaps hold off on the shouting.
When your words and your intent are aligned, people are far more likely to understand what you mean — and respond in the way you intended.
Stop presenting. Start talking.
Jane
